[acb-diabetics] great article

[Patricia LaFrance-Wolf]

Dr. Bill Polonsky, PhD, CDE, knows diabetes. Among other things, he has
served as Chairman of the National Certification Board for Diabetes
Educators, as

a Senior Psychologist at the Joslin Diabetes Center in Boston, and as an
Instructor in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He is the founder and
president

of the Behavioral Diabetes Institute (BDI) in San Diego, California. He is
also on Diabetes Health's Advisory Board.

 

A few years ago, Dr. Polonsky addressed the frustration people with diabetes
feel when it comes to other people's reactions to their health. He developed

a very popular Diabetes Etiquette Card that helps express these feelings.
It's not necessarily mean to be handed to another person, but more an
acknowledgment

that we have all felt this way at one time or another and that it's all
okay. Dr. Polonsky says that it might be time for you to try talking to the
family

members who "only open their mouth to change feet" when it comes to your
diabetes. They usually mean well but they probably just don't understand how
it

is for you and how they can help you. You can let them gently and with
empathy know what's it's like for you.

 

Here are Dr. Polonsky's 10 etiquette tips for people without diabetes,
written from the perspective of someone with diabetes:

 

list of 10 items

. 1 - DON'T offer unsolicited advice about my eating or other aspects of
diabetes. You may mean well, but giving advice about someone's personal
habits,

especially when it is not requested, isn't very nice. Besides, many of the
popularly held beliefs about diabetes ("you should just stop eating sugar")

are out of date or just plain wrong. 

. 2 - DO realize and appreciate that diabetes is hard work. Diabetes
management is a full-time job that I didn't apply for, didn't want, and
can't quit.

It involves thinking about what, when, and how much I eat, while also
factoring in 

exercise

, medication, stress, 

blood sugar

 monitoring, and so much more - each and every day. 

. 3 - DON'T tell me horror stories about your grandmother or other people
with diabetes you have heard about. Diabetes is scary enough, and stories
like

these are not reassuring! Besides, we now know that with good management,
odds are good you can live a long, healthy, and happy life with diabetes. 

. 4 - DO offer to join me in making healthy lifestyle changes. Not having to
be alone with efforts to change, like starting an exercise program, is one

of the most powerful ways that you can be helpful. After all, healthy
lifestyle changes can benefit everyone! 

. 5 - DON'T look so horrified when I check my blood sugars or give myself an
injection. It is not a lot of fun for me either. Checking blood sugars and

taking medications are things I must do to manage diabetes well. If I have
to hide while I do so, it makes it much harder for me. 

. 6 - DO ask how you might be helpful. If you want to be supportive, there
may be lots of little things I would probably appreciate your help with.
However,

what I really need may be very different than what you think I need, so
please ask first. 

. 7 - DON'T offer thoughtless reassurances. When you first learn about my
diabetes, you may want to reassure me by saying things like, "Hey, it could
be

worse; you could have cancer!" This won't make me feel better. And the
implicit message seems to be that diabetes is no big deal. However, diabetes
(like

cancer) IS a big deal. 

. 8 - DO be supportive of my efforts for self-care. Help me set up an
environment for success by supporting healthy food choices. Please honor my
decision

to decline a particular food, even when you really want me to try it. You
are most helpful when you are not being a source of unnecessary temptation. 

. 9 - DON'T peek at or comment on my blood glucose numbers without asking me
first. These numbers are private unless I choose to share them. It is normal

to have numbers that are sometimes too low or too high. Your unsolicited
comments about these numbers can add to the disappointment, frustration, and
anger

I already feel. 

. 10 - DO offer your love and encouragement. As I work hard to manage
diabetes successfully, sometimes just knowing that you care can be very
helpful and

motivating. 

list end

 

The Diabetes Etiquette Card is free. Here's three ways that you can get a
copy of the card:

 

1. Download a 

PDF copy

 from the Diabetes Behavioral Institute's website.

 

2. Get a hard copy of the accordion-style card at no cost by contacting your
local 

Accu-Chek

 representative. Roche Diabetes Care has licensed and printed the card and
distributes them to healthcare professionals and to people with diabetes and

their loved ones.

 

3. Order it directly from BDI. To cover costs, they charge $1.00 per card
plus shipping, and they only sell and ship orders of 50 cards or more.  You
can

call them at 858-336-8693 or email them at 

info at behavioraldiabetes.org

 

Read Rachel Garlinghouse's recent article, "

Dear Medical Professional

" on how frustrating it can be for a person with diabetes to deal with their
doctor.

 

Please post your comment below (be civil, now!) on other things you wish
other people would understand about you and your diabetes.

 

* * *

 

Source: 

Behavioral Diabetes Institute

 

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