[acb-hsp] Interdependence

Sat Jul 10 01:33:00 GMT 2010

INTERDEPENDENCE

No one is independent.  Every person-from a newborn baby, to a 
U.S.
President, and anyone else-is dependent on others, in one way or 
another.  We
>every all interdependent!
  Yet in the disability arena, many worship at the altar of 
"independence." A
variety of disability organizations, special educators, families, 
and others
have the goal of "helping people with disabilities achieve their 
highest
level of independence."
  What does this statement mean? Independence in what form? 
Financial,
physical, decision-making, or what? What if children or adults 
with
disabilities have a different definition than those who promote 
this goal?
What does "highest level" mean, and who defines it? How could the 
goal be
achieved if there's no consensus on what the words mean? This-an
understanding of terminology-is one issue.
  Another issue is arrogance.  Those who push others to become 
independent are,
themselves, not independent.  Yet they presume to be, while 
presuming people
with disabilities are not.

Interdependence is a higher value than independence.
Stephen Covey
  My son, Benjamin, was born with cerebral palsy.  During 
physical therapy
sessions when he was six, the therapist repeatedly cajoled, "Come 
on,
Benjamin, don't you want to be independent?" Later that year, 
Benj resigned
from his "therapy career," and we found other ways to help him do 
what he
wanted to do.  One day while helping him, I lapsed into 
"therapy-speak,"
saying, "This will help you be independent..." He turned to me 
and yelled,
"I hate that word-please don't ever say it again!" And I never 
did.
  It does reflect arrogance to imply or judge that another is not 
independent.
If we're honest, perhaps we'll admit that what we're really 
saying is, "You
should be normal." (And what does that mean?)
  Shouldn't we discuss what independence means? If we do, it's 
likely that a
consensus on meaning could not be achieved, and the word would be 
discarded
as unusable.  Then, hopefully, we would choose to embrace 
interdependence.
  What does interdependence look like? Think about your own life.  
You're
probably dependent on family members for a variety of things, as 
well as
co-workers, your auto mechanic, your bank, and other "providers 
of
services." You're probably also dependent on assistive 
technology: your cell
phone, computer, microwave oven, and more.  Simultaneously, 
others are
dependent on you.  We're all interdependent.  And if you're 
employed in the
disability field, you're dependent on children and/or adults with
disabilities for your job!
  If we choose to value interdependence, we can move beyond some 
of the
concepts tied to independence, like walking, talking, cooking, 
and other
functional skills.  Instead, we'll recognize the importance of 
relationships,
reciprocity, inclusion in all areas, and other elements of an 
ordinary life.
So many people with disabilities are lonely and isolated from the
mainstream-connected only to family members and/or paid staff-and 
are not
given opportunities to experience interdependence.
  In the big scheme of things, what's really important? 
Pencil-writing,
walking, bed-making, etc., or knowing how to be a friend, having
opportunities to connect with-and help-others in ordinary 
activities,
learning how to find the help you need from a variety of sources, 
and so on.
And, yes, let's ensure the child or adult with a disability has 
whatever
assistive technology, supports, and/or accommodations are needed 
to do these
things.
  There are only so many hours in the day; let's use our time 
wisely and focus
on what's really important.  There are only so many years in a 
person's life;
let's not hold people with disabilities hostage to the 
undefinable
"independence" goal.  Let's do what it takes to ensure they're 
living
wonderful, ordinary, and interdependent lives-right now!