[acb-hsp] Interdependence

[Sharon Strzalkowski]

Yes, this is a wonderful paradigm shift indeed!

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Merisa Musemic" <merisa.musemic at gmail.com>
To: "Discussion list for ACB human service professionals" <acb-hsp at acb.org>
Sent: Saturday, July 10, 2010 10:08 AM
Subject: Re: [acb-hsp] Interdependence


> Hi Peter! Thanks for posting the article to the list. As a
> requirementfor my master's in rehabilitation counseling degree, I
> recently took a course called Family and Community Support for
> Inclusion. One of the areas we discussed was the interdependent
> paradigm, which is very well described in this very article, namely
> that we humans are dependent on others for a variety of things. I also
> embrace this paradigm because it focuses on a person's capacitiesand
> also embraces the idea thhat persons with disabilities should have
> intimate relationship. During my years of rehabilitation I was told
> many times that I should be independent, that made me feel so angry
> because the term independence is relative
> 
> Merisa .
> On 7/9/10, peter altschul <paltschul at centurytel.net> wrote:
>> INTERDEPENDENCE
>>
>>
>> No one is independent.  Every person-from a newborn baby, to a
>> U.S.
>> President, and anyone else-is dependent on others, in one way or
>> another.  We
>>>every all interdependent!
>>   Yet in the disability arena, many worship at the altar of
>> "independence." A
>> variety of disability organizations, special educators, families,
>> and others
>> have the goal of "helping people with disabilities achieve their
>> highest
>> level of independence."
>>   What does this statement mean? Independence in what form?
>> Financial,
>> physical, decision-making, or what? What if children or adults
>> with
>> disabilities have a different definition than those who promote
>> this goal?
>> What does "highest level" mean, and who defines it? How could the
>> goal be
>> achieved if there's no consensus on what the words mean? This-an
>> understanding of terminology-is one issue.
>>   Another issue is arrogance.  Those who push others to become
>> independent are,
>> themselves, not independent.  Yet they presume to be, while
>> presuming people
>> with disabilities are not.
>>
>>
>> Interdependence is a higher value than independence.
>> Stephen Covey
>>   My son, Benjamin, was born with cerebral palsy.  During
>> physical therapy
>> sessions when he was six, the therapist repeatedly cajoled, "Come
>> on,
>> Benjamin, don't you want to be independent?" Later that year,
>> Benj resigned
>> from his "therapy career," and we found other ways to help him do
>> what he
>> wanted to do.  One day while helping him, I lapsed into
>> "therapy-speak,"
>> saying, "This will help you be independent..." He turned to me
>> and yelled,
>> "I hate that word-please don't ever say it again!" And I never
>> did.
>>   It does reflect arrogance to imply or judge that another is not
>> independent.
>> If we're honest, perhaps we'll admit that what we're really
>> saying is, "You
>> should be normal." (And what does that mean?)
>>   Shouldn't we discuss what independence means? If we do, it's
>> likely that a
>> consensus on meaning could not be achieved, and the word would be
>> discarded
>> as unusable.  Then, hopefully, we would choose to embrace
>> interdependence.
>>   What does interdependence look like? Think about your own life.
>> You're
>> probably dependent on family members for a variety of things, as
>> well as
>> co-workers, your auto mechanic, your bank, and other "providers
>> of
>> services." You're probably also dependent on assistive
>> technology: your cell
>> phone, computer, microwave oven, and more.  Simultaneously,
>> others are
>> dependent on you.  We're all interdependent.  And if you're
>> employed in the
>> disability field, you're dependent on children and/or adults with
>> disabilities for your job!
>>   If we choose to value interdependence, we can move beyond some
>> of the
>> concepts tied to independence, like walking, talking, cooking,
>> and other
>> functional skills.  Instead, we'll recognize the importance of
>> relationships,
>> reciprocity, inclusion in all areas, and other elements of an
>> ordinary life.
>> So many people with disabilities are lonely and isolated from the
>> mainstream-connected only to family members and/or paid staff-and
>> are not
>> given opportunities to experience interdependence.
>>   In the big scheme of things, what's really important?
>> Pencil-writing,
>> walking, bed-making, etc., or knowing how to be a friend, having
>> opportunities to connect with-and help-others in ordinary
>> activities,
>> learning how to find the help you need from a variety of sources,
>> and so on.
>> And, yes, let's ensure the child or adult with a disability has
>> whatever
>> assistive technology, supports, and/or accommodations are needed
>> to do these
>> things.
>>   There are only so many hours in the day; let's use our time
>> wisely and focus
>> on what's really important.  There are only so many years in a
>> person's life;
>> let's not hold people with disabilities hostage to the
>> undefinable
>> "independence" goal.  Let's do what it takes to ensure they're
>> living
>> wonderful, ordinary, and interdependent lives-right now!
>>
>>
>> Copyright 2010 Kathie Snow, www.disabilityisnatural.com; all
>> rights reserved.
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