[acb-hsp] Until Death Do Us Partner

[Mmorrowfarrell at aol.com]

In a message to ACB.ORG dated 6/22/2010 1:40:11 P.M. EDT, Darla J. Rogers  
_djrogers0628 at comcast.net_ (mailto:djrogers0628 at comcast.net)  wrote:

Divorce is better than an abusive spouse in the home; 
I put a lot of heart and soul into my marriages thus  wasting years. 
I needed to increase my own stability. 
Staying in marriages  nearly ruined me financially.
Children might have made that more  difficult.
Forcing people to stay together certainly is not the answer.  
Maybe offering psychosocial services is better.

 
M. MORROW-FARRELL in Philly PA responding.
 
Darla is so right ! Abuse has no place in marriage.
If one person puts in more than they get out it is quite simply  abuse.
Typically this is the woman but not always.  
Also, raising children requires sacrifice.  No way around  it.
While no one forces us to marry or have children in the first place 
or to stay in the marriage, it is good to walk into such a  demanding 
commitment with a good financial base and separate bank
accounts and keep it that way.  If both partners  approached
marriage as a business contract and not one where one  partner
does everything for free, then the institution of marriage as  slavery
would no longer exist.  And children would probably feel  more
loved and wanted.  Children would also learn better  relationship
patterns from the start.  The days of the self-sacrificing wife  and
mother and the workaholic father need to be a thing of the past.  
All family members should have careers AND contribute sweat equity 
in order to avoid exploiting certain  family members and spoiling others.
 
As always, this is my personal opinion shared in a democratic  forum
where not everyone's experiences are the same as mine and  hence
they will not have the same needs and opinions as myself.  Our  common
ground is the common good and it is with this intention that I  have
shared these thoughts for reflection and response.  Thank  you.
Mary Morrow-Farrell, Philadelphia PA.



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