[acb-hsp] FW: Denise Bissonnette's True Livelihood Newsletter
Baracco, Andrew W
Andrew.Baracco at va.gov
Fri Apr 29 18:30:23 GMT 2011
Subject: Denise Bissonnette's True Livelihood Newsletter
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-GkOlujPfncfdE%406404359-rS0.7XcffKxSw>
This newsletter is intended to support the work of people who are
engaged in developing the careers, vocations, livelihoods, jobs and/or
work of other individuals. It is our belief that everyone's work life
can and should be molded and crafted to be the expression of our finest
gifts and a source of great joy. Towards this end, we hope that the
content of these newsletters will support you with both practical tools
and inspirational ideas.
Hello Andrew.
Welcome to our March/April 2011 edition!
Please pass this on to interested friends and colleagues!
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-00pS3lC3a0nF.%406404360-tddjjP/bnBVJU>
Your Life Is Your Message - In Reflection
Dear Friends and Colleagues,
Happy April! I hope this issue finds you in the lovely folds of spring
- your thoughts fresh and green, your hopes and dreams opening like
tender buds on the branches of this flowering season!
In the last issue of this newsletter I reflected on the famous words of
Mahatma Gandhi, "My life is my message", suggesting that perhaps this
was not just a declaration of Gandhi's intent, but rather a proclamation
of a truth that we all share as human beings. As I wrote in the intro
to that article, "How we live our lives is the fundamental medium for
expressing our truth, declaring our values and priorities, demonstrating
both our character and our contradictions, and, ultimately, imparting
our message to the world. By default or by design, this is as true for
each of us as it was for Gandhi."
In that spirit, I posed the following ten questions as a way of
exploring the ways in which can be living more deeply by design and less
by default.
1. To what extent are you conscious of the part(s) you are playing in
life?
2. To what extent do you believe that your actions matter in the big
picture?
3. How often do you pause for honest self-examination?
4. What do you want your life to stand for?
5. What values are reflected in your daily actions and behavior?
6. What, if any, contradictions are on display by the life you are
living?
7. What is the world around you saying about your attitudes and
behavior?
8. To what extent are you sending a message of credibility?
9. To what extent are you sending a message of integrity?
10. To what extent do you live with an awareness that you will die?
(To read this previous article in full, click here
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-V1h.KzuyJAs.I%406404361-5RcAEQkawVbck> .)
I received many wonderful responses from readers to this article,
affirming for me that the folks who are part of my readership are
serious about living their lives with utmost intention and heartfelt
commitment to making a difference in other people's lives. Thank you
for your messages! I was also pleased to receive some great questions,
four of which I will respond to below. Enjoy!
Taking responsibility for the effect we have on others on a day to day
basis.
Dear Denise, Thank you for this important message! It touched me
personally, as I am going through a tough transition and your questions
helped me to regain my bearings. On a professional level I was taken by
the question you pose about how cognizant we are of how we influence
others, how aware we are of an important part of the whole in the big
picture. While your point is well-taken, I think it is also important to
consider how we effect people every day, in our classrooms, in the
workplace, and it our homes. We have tremendous influence on other
people by our moods, our attitudes, and all the little things we choose
to say or do, whether we know it or not. Thank you for the ongoing
encouragement and affirmation we receive from your newsletters. Sharing
them is a favorite part of our staff meetings!
- Director of Vocational Programs, Santa Rosa, California
What a great point! We are aware of how we affect people when we take
the initiative to say a kind word, offer assistance, or pay someone a
compliment. We also know how we affect people when we speak up, take a
stand, or somehow rock the proverbial boat. But in many, if not most
situations, we tend to feel as if our presence is meaningless or benign,
as if we can just slip into the background and go unnoticed. However,
our presence is never inconsequential. I feel the truth of this in
every workshop I deliver. Every person's presence in the room
influences every other person's experience. Whether a person's
participation is marked by their interest or their boredom, their quiet
agreement or their spoken discord, the very chemistry of the learning
environment is, in part, what it is, because of each person's presence.
We all know how one person's cynicism can seep through the cracks like a
fog filling the empty spaces, and how another person's optimism can
brighten the room, like rays of the sun. The quality of each person's
presence affects the larger atmosphere. That's why we use expressions
like "He lights up the room" or "She put a damper on the whole party." I
think it would a valuable exercise to simply observe the atmosphere of
the various settings in which we find ourselves over the course of a few
days, and how our mood, our attitude, and our responsiveness to each
situation is influenced by other people present, and how our presence is
affecting that of others.
The Credibility/Integrity Factor and "Worthy Leadership"
Dear Denise, I think what you wrote about having "credibility" and
"integrity" is really important. I think the leaders in our organization
try to create an image of credibility and integrity, but when it comes
down to it, it feels artificial. And here's the truth: they aren't
leading anybody, even though they are in the top positions of the
organization. I am going to take your writings to heart as a father, a
friend, and as a Vocational Rehab Counselor, but in the meantime, I see
the glaring absence of what you are saying in the people I am supposed
to be following. Ouch!
- Sincerely, Disgruntled
Vocational Rehab Counselor, Albany, New York
Ouch, is right. I can feel the pain from here. By the way, isn't it
funny how we can recognize the presence or the lack of credibility and
integrity in other people far more readily than we can judge it for
ourselves? I applaud Disgruntled's willingness to not just point the
finger at others, but to put himself to the test.
Let's cut to the chase, people are not going to buy into a message if
they do not buy into the person who is sending it. Image-making is
about what people want us to think of them - integrity is about who they
really are. Our willingness "to be led" is in direct proportion to the
congruence we perceive between what people say and what people do,
between the vision they are purporting and the deeds that they are
performing. That consistency is key to earning credibility. Without it,
they're sunk. We know this credibility/integrity issue from both sides
of the equation - as parents and as children, as co-workers, as people
attempting to influence others, and as people on the other side of other
people's influence.
I remember the advice of one of my finest mentors who, working against
great odds, succeeded in galvanizing an entire community to sponsor
numerous refugee families. She taught me that as a potential leader, we
discover the dream and then rally the people to help make it happen.
But, she observed, it is the opposite phenomenon for those being
rallied. She told me that people discover the leader first, and then
the dream. She believed that most people aren't seeking worthy causes -
they're looking for worthy leaders. The great leader then takes on the
challenge of shifting people's allegiance and commitment from him/her to
the greater cause.
To me, the "worthiness" test is all about credibility and integrity. In
my workshop on leadership, I have participants identify three or four
qualities or behaviors they would like to inspire or encourage in their
employees, clients, students, etc... (It could be anything from showing
up on time, taking more initiative, or managing their temper). I then
ask people to rate their current level of effectiveness in each of those
behaviors. Not surprisingly, this task typically invokes a collective
groan. Try this exercise yourself, and if you find that you are,
indeed, walking your talk, know that you are sending the most powerful
message possible. Where you need to improve, take to heart the words of
Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Goodness that simply preaches, undoes itself."
Just ask "Disgruntled."
The "Character or Coping" Dichotomy
Dear Denise, As usual I found myself challenged by some of what you
write, feeling as if I fall short of the qualities and values that you
write about. I am both inspired by what you write, and also
discouraged, because I find it hard to put into practice in my very
negative and stressful workplace. There are days that I really feel
like I am "living the message" that I want to send to the world, and
there are other days I feel more like I am just hanging in there, doing
my best to just get by. I guess what I am sending is "a mixed message".
Ah well, as you say in your workshop, "Best foot forward, one step at a
time", right? Please keep up the good work.
- Manager, Supported Employment Program, Vancouver, British Columbia
I really loved the idea of "sending mixed messages" - not the act
itself, but the metaphor! I, for one, can totally relate with this
reader and readily admit that I, too, send mixed messages - perhaps more
than I care to know! To me that's one of the most worthwhile challenges
of being human - knowing that we will often fall short of doing and
being what we most aspire to, but holding wholeheartedly to the
aspiration anyway! Best foot forward, one step at a time. (While I
don't remember actually saying this, I will happily take credit.)
To me, this reader's comments give rise to the question, "Are my actions
springing from a place of coping or from a place of character?" I don't
recall where I first heard or became aware of this dichotomy, but I have
always found it useful as a tool for evaluating, witnessing, and
ultimately choosing the source from which my actions and choices spring.
If our actions are coming from a place of coping, we will react to
circumstances rather than respond with character. Our intention will be
to simply survive rather than to thrive in some meaningful way. We will
muddle through in order to get by rather than be deliberate in our
choices and with our actions. Additional questions that point to the
source of our actions include:
* Am I just serving myself in this situation or do I have the
greater good in mind?
* Am I acting from a place of knowing within myself or am I
reacting to the whims of those around me for the sake of reputation?
* Am I responding from a place of authenticity or safety and
security?
* Are my actions springing from a place of fear or trust,
avoidance or courage, resistance or resilience?
Obviously, character is a better master, and coping is a better servant.
I think we can accept that we will always act from both sides of the
continuum, and in so doing, embrace our vulnerability. Still, little by
little, we can lean more and more towards the character end of the
spectrum, and in so doing, send a hopeful message to the world. A
worthwhile question for each of us to consider is, "What, for me,
invokes the coping response and what inspires the character response?"
Inner Wisdom and a Personal Motto
Dear Denise, Given your article on "Your Life is Your Message", I am
assuming that you have a written manifesto or a personal mission
statement. Am I right? Do you think that is important for people to
have in order to live the life they want? If you have one, will you
please share it with your readers? The truth is that I don't have
anything like that because I don't really know what my purpose is yet.
Thanks for your ongoing inspiration!
- Job Coach, Supported Employment Program, Madison, Wisconsin
While I love the idea of people having a written manifesto or a personal
mission statement, I have not written one of my own. Actually, The
Wholehearted Journey, the book that I published in 2003 is the long
version of my "manifesto" as it is chock full of my personal
convictions, beliefs and values. A lot of my poetry which is included
in that book are actually "mini mission statements", and with this
reader's request in mind, I have chosen one of those pieces as this
month's Poem of the Month. I also wrote an article for this newsletter
a few years ago about the premises and beliefs that have informed and
shaped my teaching and writing in the field of Employment and Training,
which is the closest thing I have written to a "professional manifesto".
Still, I think the idea is an intriguing one and it would be a most
worthwhile undertaking to write a personal mission statement. I also
promise that if I do write one, I will share it in one of my
newsletters!
In the meantime, I would like to suggest something a little less
challenging. In the spirit of "less is more", what if we at least chose
a motto for living, for working, for relating or for being in community?
The power of writing a mission statement or choosing a motto is the
honing of our focus and our intentionality in order to create and
sustain a vision, a purpose or a guiding principle that can inform our
daily lives. The cool thing is, we can have many mottos - one for every
part of our life - or one for each new year of our life - or one for
each of the various circumstances in which we want to remember what we
are about, what our purpose is, or what we want to bring to that
situation.
Dear reader, you claim that you do not know what your purpose is. Well,
perhaps you do not yet know what vocation is calling to you or what
role(s) you will play in your life, but that does not mean that you do
not yet have a purpose. I believe that if you could put aside all the
distractions in your life and drown out all the other voices of people
who are telling you what they think your purpose is, you will hear the
clear soft bell of your own inner voice. I believe that you know what
qualities you want to bring into your life, what kind of person you want
to be, and some of the things that you have to share with the world. I
think you know what breaks your heart and what sets your heart on fire.
You know what keeps you up late at night, and makes you want to rise in
the morning. You know what you love, you know what you hate, you know
where you feel belonging, and you know places where you do not belong.
You have a lot of wisdom about yourself, and it all points in the
direction of purpose. Start with the kind of person you would like to
be and the qualities and values you want to live by. Grounded in your
deep vision of how you want to live your life and contribute to your
world, you will have the basis on which to discern whether or not
various options move you closer to or away from that vision. See if
you can come up with a motto or two which will serve as a reminder of
your core vision. Just for fun, I have provided a list of mottos below,
many of which you will be familiar with. Read through them and see if
they inspire one of your own?
List of Famous Mottos
* The greatest tragedy is indifference. Red Cross motto
* Love and serve. Hard Rock Cafe
* Think. IBM
* To boldly go where no man has gone before. Star Trek
* Reach out and touch someone. AT&T
* When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight. Fed
Ex
* Just do it. Nike motto
* Imagine life without breast cancer. Susan G. Komen motto
* The Worlds' Online Market Place. eBay
* Be all you can be. United States Army motto
* Yes we can! Obama's presidential campaign slogan
* Every individual has a role to play. Jane Goodall Institute
motto
* Take down the tiger trade. Human Gifts motto
* The most trusted name in news. CNN
* Service Above Self. Rotary International motto
* Live Free or Die. New Hampshire state motto
* Do Good in the Hood. Do Good in the Hood motto
* The Real Thing. Coca-Cola
* Church with its sleeves rolled up. Auckland Community
Churches motto
* Just Say No. Anti-drug campaign
* Live unboring. IKEA
* Think globally, eat locally. Harvest International
* Semper Fidelis (Always Faithful). Marine Corps motto
* We're behind you every step of the way. Huggies
* Cancer doesn't sleep and neither do we. Relay for Life
* Speak up for the sharks. Ocean Conservancy
* Share the power of a wish with a child. Make-a-Wish
Foundation
* Life in all its fullness for every child. World Vision
* Something CAN be done about it. Boston Volunteer Mission
* We move the world. DHL
May the force be with you. God spede. Live well and prosper ...
~ Denise
(c) Denise Bissonnette, April 2011 (If not used for commercial purposes,
this article may be reproduced, all or in part, providing it is credited
to "Denise Bissonnette, Diversity World - www.diversityworld.com." If
included in a newsletter or other publication, we would appreciate
receiving a copy.)
Read Denise's previous (January/February 2011) newsletter...
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-P2DoAdievno9g%406404361-Ic1sPC4scju6g>
________________________________
We welcome your comments and feedback on this article!
Please consider sending us your opinions, perspectives, experiences or
related resources on this topic. Unless you specify otherwise, your
comments and contact information may be edited/published in a future
edition of the True Livelihood Newsletter.
Email your comments on this article... TLN at diversityworld.com
<mailto:TLN at diversityworld.com>
________________________________
Thoughts to Consider
"I am done with great things, great institutions and big success.
I am for those tiny invisible molecular moral forces
that work from individual to individual
creeping through the crannies of the world like so many rootlets,
or like the capillary oozing of water,
yet which, if you give them time,
will rend the hardest monuments of man's pride."
- William James
"There is a person in the world who never gets turned down,
Wherever he chances to stray;
He gets the glad hand in the populous town,
Or out where the farmers make hay;
He is greeted with pleasure on deserts of sand,
And deep in the aisles of the woods;
Wherever he goes there is a welcoming hand-
He's the man who... delivers the goods!"
- Walt Whitman
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark,
in the hopeless swamps of the approximate,
the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero in your soul perish,
in lonely frustration for the life you deserved,
but have never been able to reach.
Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desire can be won,
it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours."
- Ayn Rand
________________________________
Poem of the Month
I Want to Live in Color
By Denise Bissonnette
I don't want to live in the black and white of
Conventional wisdom, of judgment and dogma,
In the security of my own fixed opinions,
Though a certain comfort they bring.
I want to live in color!
With vitality, as green as summer grass, and as enduring!
With purpose, as red as the blood coursing through my veins,
and as deliberate!
With joy as yellow and shining as the face of the sun, and as generous!
With passion, as purple as the clustered grapes hanging heavy
on the twiggy vine, and as true to it source.
With courage, as brown as the Redwood forest, and as unrelenting.
With love, as blue as the sea and the sky, and as infinite.
With wonder, as white as the virgin snow, and as pure.
I want every color, every life-affirming quality,
on the palette with which I paint my life!
And though the colors will mix and fade,
Transmuting into the darker tones
of sorrow and doubt, even despair,
I want to live whole-hearted.
I want a stained glass life
through which Spirit may pour,
leaving not a pale shadow,
but a rainbow of light!
"I Want to Live in Color" by Denise Bissonnette, excerpt from The
Wholehearted Journey: Bringing Qualities of Soul to Everyday Life and
Work, Diversity World, Santa Cruz, California, 2003.
________________________________
Denise Bissonnette's Publications
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-mNnxKNAT1ZJ1M%406404362-ghRZwgSdadSdI>
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-mNnxKNAT1ZJ1M%406404362-ghRZwgSdadSdI>
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-mNnxKNAT1ZJ1M%406404362-ghRZwgSdadSdI>
Denise has published several important works on topics of job
development, career development, personal development and similar
topics. She also has two video-based in-service training programs
available. Please visit our online store, Diversity Shop, for more
information on these and related products. Link to more information on
Denise's publications...
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-4KTqqcXW91kOI%406404362-MrF7u5KIEZoJE>
________________________________
Some of Denise's Upcoming Confirmed Appearances
* Merced, CA * Richmond, CA * Whitehorse, YT * Surrey, BC *
See all of Denise's Scheduled Events...
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-EjgmlH//2Z/D.%406404363-AH3wKu6Q2p5sc>
________________________________
New In Our Store...
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Discriminate or Diversify
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-6aBBuqt1oPXug%406404364-f2J5Uf7f1Q/M6>
Author: Enrique Ruiz
(softcover, 619 pages)
In a global society where we're all more closely intertwined than ever
before, we depend on each other locally and internationally.
Discriminate or Diversify has been recognized as a one-of-a-kind
compendium, exploring and highlighting the commonalities of different
cultures, faiths, skin color, complexion, customs, education,
experience. Readers begin to see their own hidden biases and prejudices
-- and begin to understand "the other side," so they can build bridges
of trust where intellectual capital reservoirs can be willingly created.
$49.95
<http://m1e.net/c?116499039-E5nCYIIyb4qpI%406404360-PB5xCpS01tq5A>
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________________________________
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