[acb-hsp] Go Easy on Yourself

[Donna Rose]

Thanks for this Peter.  I am going to share it with my mental health 
consumers at my work during one of our writer's workshops.  I think it would 
be nice if they wrote a letter of support to themselves as suggested herein.







May hope be with you,
Donna Rose, LMSW

Success is impossible without hope.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "peter altschul" <paltschul at centurytel.net>
To: "Acbhsp" <acb-hsp at acb.org>
Sent: Saturday, March 05, 2011 2:04 PM
Subject: [acb-hsp] Go Easy on Yourself


> FEBRUARY 28, 2011, 5:26 PM
>  Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Urges
>  By TARA PARKER-POPE
>  Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family? That 
> simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological 
> research called self-compassion -- how kindly people view themselves.
>  People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it 
> turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating 
> themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising. 
> The research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our 
> imperfections may be the first step toward better health.  People who 
> score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, 
> and tend to be happier and more optimistic.  Preliminary data suggest that 
> self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some 
> people lose weight.  This idea does seem at odds with the advice dispensed 
> by many doctors and self-help books, which suggest that willpower and 
> self-discipline are the keys to better health.  But Kristin Neff, a 
> pioneer in the field, says self-compassion is not to be confused with 
> self-indulgence or lower standards.  "I found in my research that the 
> biggest reason people aren't more self-compassionate is that they are 
> afraid they'll become self-indulgent," said Dr.  Neff, an associate 
> professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin. 
> "They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line.  Most people have 
> gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way 
> to be."
>  Imagine your reaction to a child struggling in school or eating too much 
> junk food.  Many parents would offer support, like tutoring or making an 
> effort to find healthful foods the child will enjoy.  But when adults find 
> themselves in a similar situation -- struggling at work, or overeating and 
> gaining weight -- many fall into a cycle of self-criticism and negativity. 
> That leaves them feeling even less motivated to change.  "Self-compassion 
> is really conducive to motivation," Dr.  Neff said.  "The reason you don't 
> let your children eat five big tubs of ice cream is because you care about 
> them.  With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what's 
> healthy for you rather than what's harmful to you."
>  Dr.  Neff, whose book, "Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and 
> Leave Insecurity Behind," is being published next month by William Morrow, 
> has developed a self-compassion scale: 26 statements meant to determine 
> how often people are kind to themselves, and whether they recognize that 
> ups and downs are simply part of life.  A positive response to the 
> statement "I'm disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and 
> inadequacies," for example, suggests lack of self-compassion.  "When I 
> feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of 
> inadequacy are shared by most people" suggests the opposite.  For those 
> low on the scale, Dr.  Neff suggests a set of exercises -- 
> like writing yourself a letter of support, just as you might to a friend 
> you are concerned about.  Listing your best and worst traits, reminding 
> yourself that nobody is perfect and thinking of steps you might take to 
> help you feel better about yourself are also recommended.  Other exercises 
> include meditation and "compassion breaks," which involve repeating 
> mantras like "I'm going to be kind to myself in this moment."
>  If this all sounds a bit too warm and fuzzy, like the Also Franken 
> character Stuart Smalley ("I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone 
> it, people like me"), there is science to back it up.  A 2007 study by 
> researchers at Wake Forest University suggested that even a minor 
> self-compassion intervention could influence eating habits.  As part of 
> the study, 84 female college students were asked to take part in what they 
> thought was a food-tasting experiment.  At the beginning of the study, the 
> women were asked to eat doughnuts.  One group, however, was given a lesson 
> in self-compassion with the food.  "I hope you won't be hard on yourself," 
> the instructor said.  "Everyone in the study eats this stuff, so I don't 
> think there's any reason to feel real bad about it."
>  Later the women were asked to taste-test candies from large bowls.  The 
> researchers found that women who were regular dieters or had guilt 
> feelings about forbidden foods ate less after hearing the instructor's 
> reassurance.  Those not given that message ate more.  The hypothesis is 
> that the women who felt bad about the doughnuts ended up engaging in 
> "emotional" eating.  The women who gave themselves permission to enjoy the 
> sweets didn't overeat.  "Self-compassion is the missing ingredient in 
> every diet and weight-loss plan," said Jean Fain, a psychotherapist and 
> teaching associate at Harvard Medical School who wrote the new book "The 
> Self-Compassion Diet" (Sounds True publishing).  "Most plans revolve 
> around self-discipline, deprivation and neglect."
>  Dr.  Neff says that the field is still new and that she is just starting 
> a controlled study to determine whether teaching self-compassion actually 
> leads to lower stress, depression and anxiety and more happiness and life 
> satisfaction.  "The problem is that it's hard to unlearn habits of a 
> lifetime," she said.  "People have to actively and consciously develop the 
> habit of self-compassion."
>  Copyright 2011 the New Yourk Times Company
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