[acb-hsp] Memo to Arnold S. and the Media

[peter altschul]

Memo to Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Media -- There Are No 
Illegitimate Kids, Just Illegitimate Parents
  Michael Reagan
  My adoptive parents told me I was "chosen," but the kids at 
school told me I was a "bastard." The recent headlines about 
Arnold Schwarzenegger's infidelities and the son he fathered out 
of wedlock have stirred many old memories and emotions.
  I was four years old when I learned I was adopted.  It was just 
before my sister Maureen's eighth birthday.  I told her, "I know 
what you're getting for your birthday
was "Don't spoil the secret," she said.  "If you tell me, I'm 
going to tell you a secret!"
  Well, that was the wrong thing to say! I had to know what she 
was keeping from me! I said, "You're getting a blue dress for 
your birthday."
  Maureen said, "And you were adopted."
  I ran off to find our mother, Jane Wyman, in the den.  I asked 
her, "What does 'adopted' mean?" Mom's eyes flashed dangerously.  
"Where did you hear that word?" she asked.
  After Mom finished dealing with Maureen, she sat me down and 
explained adoption to me.  "You are a chosen child," she said, 
"and that makes you special.  We love you very much." I could 
tell that being "chosen" was a good thing.  But I also realized 
for the first time that Mom wasn't my "real" mother -- that I had 
another mother who had mysteriously given me away.
  One day, when I was in the second grade, I got into a 
playground argument with another boy.  We took turns one-upping 
each other.  "I'm better than you," I said.  "I'm special 'cause 
I was chosen! I was adopted!"
  The other boy didn't know how to answer that, but the next day 
he came back to school and laughed at me.  "My parents told me 
what 'adopted' means," he said.  "You're not special -- you're a 
bastard! Your real mother wasn't married, so she gave you away -- 
bastard!"
  That's when I realized there was something horribly wrong with 
me.  I never again bragged about being "chosen," and I never 
again felt "special." But I did feel marked.
  I wondered, "Why did my birth mother give me away? Was it 
because I'm a bastard?" I figured Mom couldn't have known I was 
illegitimate or she wouldn't have adopted me.  And I didn't want 
her to find out! When I returned home, I went to the library 
where Mom kept a huge leather-bound Bible.  She'd once told me 
that the Bible had all the answers.  I was seven years old and 
had never read the Bible on my own, so I turned to the back of 
the Bible to see if there was an index.  Sure enough, I found the 
concordance.
  I looked for the word "bastard" -- and there it was.  The 
concordance directed me to Deuteronomy 23:2, where I read: "A 
bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even 
to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation 
of the Lord." My heart froze.  I thought those words meant, "A 
bastard can never go to Heaven.
  A bastard is damned to Hell, and so are his kids and grandkids, 
down to the tenth generation." I snapped the book shut -- and I 
didn't open a Bible again for more than 25 years.  Of course, 
that verse had nothing to do with Heaven or Hell -- but how could 
a seven-year-old understand such things? I thought, "That's why 
my birth mother got rid of me! Nobody wants a child who's going 
to Hell! And Mom's so religious! If she finds out I'm going to 
Hell, she won't want me anymore!" So, at age seven, I began to 
hate myself -- and God.
  The story of my spiritual and emotional redemption is in my 
book "Twice Adopted." But the story I'm thinking about now is the 
painful story of Arnold Schwarzenegger's sonddI keep hearing 
chattering heads on TV referring to the boy as Schwarzenegger's 
"illegitimate" son.  It makes my blood boil.  Listen, there's no 
such thing as an illegitimate child.  There are only illegitimate 
parents.
  And Arnold, I hope you read this: Your son is not the bastard.  
You're the bastard.  You're the illegitimate parent.
  I don't say that to insult you.  I say it for your own good.  I 
say it because you need to face these facts.  You've been a 
bastard up till now, but you can change that.  You can man up.  
You can sit down with your son, acknowledge him, apologize to 
him, admit that you failed him, promise to love him, and begin to 
protect him from ridicule.
  That boy is going to need a lot of love and affirmation from 
his father.  Why? Because the bastards in the media have gone 
after him, publishing horrible, humiliating stories, putting his 
picture on the Internet and subjecting him to ridicule at school.
  Arnold, you've always played a hero in the movies.  But now the 
whole world knows it was just an act.  How would you like to be a 
real hero for a change? It is time to stop being a bastard and 
start being a father.
  Michael Reagan, the eldest son of Ronald Reagan, is heard daily 
by over 5 million listeners via his nationally syndicated talk 
radio program, "The Michael Reagan Show."