[acb-hsp] The Power of Being an Introvert

[Mary Ann Robinson]

This is a good article.  Thank you.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "peter altschul" <paltschul at centurytel.net>
To: "Acbhsp" <acb-hsp at acb.org>
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 12:52 AM
Subject: [acb-hsp] The Power of Being an Introvert


> The Power of Being an Introvert in a World That Can't Stop 
> Talking
>  August 20,
>  "Mom, you're reading that, too!?" My 23-year-old-son, home for 
> a visit, was astonished to see that each of us had picked up the 
> same book: Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World 
> That Can't Stop Talking.  It immediately gave us something 
> to-well-talk about.
>  Forget the paradox that one of Cain's goals in writing her 
> informative exploration is to get introspective types like my son 
> and me to give a shout-out for ourselves.  (It put me in mind of 
> the oxymoronic cry, "Anarchists, unite!") The very fact that 
> Cain's celebration of strength through soft-spokenness is on the 
> bestseller list suggests we've been listening (quietly) for a 
> long time, baby, awaiting someone like Cain to speak up for us.  
> And she definitely provides a hefty boost of self-esteem to 
> anyone who lives by the principle that you take in more by 
> listening than by interrupting.
>  Indeed, from chapter to chapter, Cain champions bright students 
> like my son, who lost grade points every semester of his school 
> career for not raising his hand enough (or, as he put it, for 
> refusing to be a loudmouth).  She validates introspective types 
> like me, whose lifelong passions include reading, playing music, 
> and taking long walks (preferably in a national park).  She 
> delivers some long-overdue respect to the "geeks" and "nerds" and 
> "eggheads" of the world.  And she does all this with more than 
> enough smarts and charm to demonstrate that we really are quite 
> delightful souls-once you let us get a word in edgewise.
>  In making her case (the author practiced corporate law before 
> switching careers to teach negotiation skills and write), Cain 
> uses a broadly encompassing "cultural" (as opposed to a narrower, 
> more psychological) definition of the quiet temperament.  An 
> introvert, Cain writes, is someone "who recognizes him- or 
> herself somewhere in the following constellation of attributes: 
> reflective, cerebral, bookish, unassuming, sensitive, thoughtful, 
> serious, contemplative, subtle, introspective, inner-directed, 
> gentle, calm, modest solitude-seeking, shy, risk-averse, 
> thin-skinned." Cain contrasts this quiet type with the man- or 
> woman-of-action type, whom she describes as "ebullient, 
> expansive, sociable, gregarious, excitable, dominant, assertive, 
> active, risk-taking, thick-skinned, outer-directed, lighthearted, 
> bold, and comfortable in the spotlight."
> 
> 
> 
> Cain admits these are extremes; most of us fall somewhere in the 
> middle of the spectrum, holding attributes of both types.  But 
> her characterization still sounds like mild-mannered Clark Kent 
> versus man-of-steel Superman.
>  Yet the exaggeration also feeds into Cain's larger point: that, 
> for all our emphasis on diversity, our culture doesn't do a good 
> job of respecting temperamental differences.  Indeed, too often 
> we assume that the loudest, most outspoken person in the room is 
> the smartest and most competent-and, to our later regret, we 
> disregard the wisdom voiced by quieter souls.  As a society, we 
> worship Superman; we ignore Clark Kent.  We need to recognize the 
> relative strengths, and weaknesses, of both.
>  Cain organizes her analysis of the pros and cons of 
> introversion and extroversion around answers to two basic 
> questions: How did it happen that our nation came to value the 
> extrovert personality above all others? What are the cultural and 
> social implications of our contemporary American obsession with 
> the hail-fellow-well-met persona in every realm of public life, 
> from business to politics to education?
>  Cain traces the evolution of our taste in heroes from the 19th 
> century, when the public admired, above all else, the character 
> of the taciturn pioneer (perhaps best epitomized by the young 
> Henry Fonda playing the young Lincoln), to the talk-show culture 
> of today, which equates cheerleading with leadership and speaking 
> fast and loud with being right.  This was propelled, she 
> believes, by the rise of our commodity-driven (and now 
> service-driven) economy.  To get ahead, you need to sell and keep 
> on selling; you need to master the power to persuade, to put on a 
> convincing show, and to close the deal.  Thus, in the transition 
> from the 19th to 20th centuries, Lincoln, as a model, was 
> overtaken by P.  T.  Barnum and Dale Carnegie.
>  In more recent decades, as the importance of who you know has 
> increased even more in proportion to what you know, so has 
> networking and making a "good" (i.e.  extroverted) impression 
> grown ever more pertinent to getting ahead.  In the contemporary 
> paradigm of how to succeed in business (or just about anything 
> else, it seems) without really trying, personality trumps 
> character every time.
>  Just how pervasive the ethos of extroversion has become emerges 
> from Cain's visits to such varied institutions as the Harvard 
> Business School and Pastor Rick Warren's Saddleback Church in 
> southern California.  At Harvard, where study groups and group 
> socializing are a way of life, she meets introverts who feel 
> pressured to spend as little time alone as possible-and to talk 
> up as often as possible.  At Saddleback Church, she interviews a 
> cerebral evangelical pastor who struggles to find a comfortable 
> role for himself in an organization that expects its leaders to 
> be enthusiastic and outgoing.  At both places, it seems, 
> sociability is viewed as a higher virtue than solitude.
>  One of the most disheartening aspects of the culture of 
> extroversion, Cain finds, is the credence it gives to the 
> widespread assumption that it's always better to work study think 
> brainstorm as part of a team or in groups than to go it alone.  
> But research tells a different story.  For instance, in theory, 
> offices that do away with doors and private spaces will promote 
> team bonding and cooperation.  The actual outcome is higher 
> turnover of employees, who are less productive (because of the 
> increased noise and interruptions) and more insecure (because of 
> the worry that others are eavesdropping on their conversations).
>  Then there's the idea that we learn more efficiently from one 
> another in groups than individually.  In some cases, perhaps, but 
> study after study demonstrates that creativity, innovation, and 
> expertise are much more robust when work is pursued in solitude 
> with deliberate focus.  As for the highly touted process of group 
> brainstorming, psychologists have repeatedly shown it doesn't 
> work, for three reasons.  As Cain explains, "The first is social 
> loafing; in a group, some individuals tend to sit back and let 
> others do the work.  The second is production blocking; only one 
> person talks or produces an idea at once, while the other group 
> members are forced to sit passively.  And the third is evaluation 
> apprehension, meaning the fear of looking stupid in front of 
> one's peers." The result: what Cain calls "The New Groupthink," a 
> style of learning that encourages conformity, while discouraging 
> marching to one's own drumbeat.
>  Ultimately, the extroversion bias finds its most distressing 
> manifestation in parents who worry that their quiet, 
> introspective children aren't measuring up to their ideal of 
> successful (i.e.  outgoing) personalities.  Rather than 
> pathologizing their children's temperament, Cain wisely advises 
> Mom and Dad to "step back from their own preferences and see what 
> the world looks like to their quiet children." Recognize that the 
> social whirl may stress out your kid, even if it stimulates you.  
> Cain also suggests strategies for adult introverts who are 
> seeking to make their way in a world of extroverts.  Many are 
> lessons in self-confidence or pep talks on letting go of 
> self-consciousness.  These include getting used to socializing by 
> starting in small doses; finding places to decompress before and 
> after speaking in public; scheduling brief, private, quiet times 
> into your day; thinking of yourself as a "fake" extrovert and 
> playing the role.
>  None of these tips is profound, and Cain can overstate her 
> case.  Her examples of great introverts in history can seem to 
> include every admirable person ever born.  I wish she'd delved 
> further into how time and experience can affect temperament over 
> a long life span.  She uses herself as an example of someone who, 
> through practice, has learned to mold an outgoing exterior to 
> cover up a natural reserve.  As someone who's gone on a somewhat 
> similar journey, I wanted to ask how much was "overcoming" 
> reserve, and how much was simply a matter of learning, with time 
> and practice and positive feedback, to be less self-conscious and 
> less awkward socially? Rather than new insights, Cain just seems 
> to be recycling Dale Carnegie.
>  Still, Cain's message is a much-needed corrective to our 
> cultural enchantment with extroversion.  Her book makes for a 
> good way to start the conversation-and may just provide an 
> opportunity to interrupt someone else's.
>  Diane Cole, the author of the memoir After Great Pain: A New 
> Life Emerges, writes for many national publications, including 
> The Wall Street Journal.
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