[acb-hsp] Eradicating Negative Thinking

[peter altschul]

The 20-Minute Exercise To Eradicate Negative Thinking
  By Kaihan Krippendorff November 15, 2012
  Belief is contagious.  It wins supporters.  It's 
self-fulfilling.  Here's how to get there when nagging, negative 
thoughts are holding you back.
  After a flurry of emails in response to my blog post on 
passion, I reached a disheartening realization: passion is 
useless if you donbt already believe.
  You see, what we can achieve is limited by what we believe.  
Henry Ford knew this: "Whether you think you can or you think you 
can't, you are right."
  So here I was, passionately committed to become the world-class 
business guru, best-selling author, the speaker who fills 
stadium.  And yet there was voice telling me, "You can't do it.  
Keep trying, trying is fun, but in the end you will fail."
  You've probably heard that voice as well.
  I'm making progress--my book sales are accelerating, my keynote 
audiences are growing, and I'm sharing the stage with people like 
Jack Welch and Robin Sharma--but in the back of my mind the voice 
pulls the reigns: "You can't do it."
  Great "outthinkers" seem to overcome this voice.  Their belief 
matches their passion.  Napoleon believed he was the greatest 
general of his time and so he was.  Steve Jobs believed his 
people could achieve the impossible, so they did.  Richard 
Branson believed he could win against British Airways, and so he 
won, even though every airline that tried over the prior three 
decades failed.
  Belief is contagious.  It wins supporters.  It's 
self-fulfilling.  As Harvard professor Rosebeth Moss Kanter shows 
in her book Confidence the belief you can win creates momentum 
which improves your chances of winning.
  So what do you do when you don't believe?
  Over the past four weeks, I've studies books and articles, 
interviewed entrepreneurs and experts, then assembled it all for 
you in a simple framework with which you can systematically 
attack whatever belief is holding you down.  Give me 20 minutes.  
This works.
  Fundamentals
  1.  Beliefs aren't real.  They are mental maps, abstractions of 
reality, that help us predict a complex world.  My son believes 
good batteries must be cold because I keep ours in the freezer.  
He believes Santa Claus rides a sleigh.
  2.  Four anchors form our beliefs (For more, read Why We 
Believe What We Believe by Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert 
Waldman).
  Evidence: Something happens (e.g., gifts appear one morning and 
my mom says they are from Santa Claus)
  Logic: It makes sense, more specifically, it is consistent with 
our other beliefs (e.g., gifts can't just appear out of nowhere, 
my mom and dad were asleep...x must have been Santa)
  Emotion: Strong emotional associations (a 3-year-old's joy at 
getting a new choo choo) embed beliefs more indelibly
  Social consensus: We believe more deeply if others believe too 
(e.g., Maria and Nico and Sofia all say Santa brought them gifts 
too)
  3.  We reject what doesn't fit.  Once a belief is formed, we 
explain away any inconsistent evidence.  I saw a documentary in 
which a young child said to his friends, "Santa came to my house 
and ate a little bit of a cookie, then he went to Jack's house 
and ate a little bit and drank some milk, then to Maria's and ate 
some and then...S if he went to ALL of our houses in one night, 
it must mean--was You are sure he is about to realize Santa can't 
be real, but instead he animates excitedly, "Santa must have been 
really hungry!"
  4.  Humans need consistency between beliefs, actions, and 
words.  In Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion Robert 
Cialdini calls this "The Rule of Consistency." This is how 
beliefs hold us down or lift us up.  If you believe you can't, 
you start acting and speaking like someone who can't, so you 
actually can't.  Interestingly, the relationship also works in 
reverse: change your action or words and you can change your 
beliefs.
  The Model
  Over a 12-hour flight home from Paraguay, I assembled these 
principles into a model we can use to deconstruct and replace any 
belief that holds us down.  It is simpler than it looks.
  Imagine a hot air balloon being held down by four anchors.  The 
balloon represents the belief holding you down and actions and 
words this belief influences.
  The four anchors represent evidence, logic, emotion, and social 
consensus.  To release the balloon you must replace the offending 
belief.  Do this in five steps:
  Step 1: Identify the belief.  Find a belief that is holding you 
down.  Tip: write down beliefs until you find one that hurts.  In 
my case, "You don't really have what it takes to be world-class 
author speaker thinker."
  Step 2: Identify the anchors.
  What evidence events anchor the belief? were my books arenbt on 
the NYT bestseller list were
  What emotions anchor your belief? were I feel comfort because 
in not really trying, I know I can't fail were
  Who around you reinforces this belief (social consensus)? were 
well intentioned people who congratulate me on already having 
achieved the dream were
  What logic locks in this belief; what "dependent beliefs" fit? 
were wanting to fill a stadium is self-centered, thinking I can 
offer what people don't already know is conceited were
  Step 3: Pick a new belief.  What alternative belief would be 
consistent with someone who really achieves your dream? were I am 
destined to a best-selling business thinker and speaker.  were
  Step 4: Release the anchors.
  Evidence: what alternative evidence supports this new belief 
were people pay me lots of money to speak, I'm sharing the stage 
with some of the biggest business gurus were Emotions: what does 
it feel like to really live this new belief and fulfill your 
dream were passion, purpose, having made an impact were Social 
consensus: who can you surround yourself with to support the new 
belief were other business gurus and authors were Beliefs: how 
can you replace the bdependent beliefsb identified above? were 
this is not conceited because it's about serving others; the best 
business gurus do it to serve others, not for their ego were
  Step 5: Set your course.  Write down five specific things you 
will do (action) and say (words) that force you to live your new 
belief.
  Completing this process took me 20 minutes and has put me fully 
in the game, committed and knowing I can win.  Would that be 
worth your time?
  Copyright B) 2012 Mansueto Ventures LLC.  All rights reserved.