[acb-hsp] ACB-HSP President Message

Tue Sep 25 14:28:49 EDT 2012

Hi Darian,  First, I do not believe it would be productive at all to take this discussion off list.  I realize there are members and non-members here and, I realize it might feel better, especially to you, if some comments were taken off list.  I also realize that some people, especially non-members, may feel either better not reading this, or, that they have no say in this.
Now, let's think this through a minute from an approach that I absolutely love: Solution-focus approach.
How SF works, for those who do not know is, you identify all the problems.  Then, we just write down solutions possibilities.  No one comments whether these are great suggestions, workable, realistic, stupid, the most ridiculous idea ever, what--they are just possibilities.
For example, Darian has brought up several:
The problem is, she had scheduled a very important meeting, she did not show because she forgot about it, then forgot to either reschedule or contact people.  People have responded.  Darian has responded.  Now we're all responded.
Let's identify, without further emotion or blame, the specific problem(s), and goals.
Its not enough to just say: I'm sorry, move on.
That's what has been done in the past, its what most people try to do and its why things don't work.  Because what happens is, we really do not learn from mistakes that way.  Some people forgive; most never forget; most try to move on, but everyone is still, somehow, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  And others are still hurt, holding onto stuff from the past.  
So, what can we do?

You are President, right?  What is the specific problems you see now, Darian.  What do you need?
You mentioned needing to appoint people, right?  So, what is your timeline of wanting, well what? People to respond about that, or have you already figured out whom you will appoint?

Then, is there another conference call planned, and what are the goals there?

What other, specific, problems are in this affiliate?  And this question should, then, simply be answered by everyone with solution possibilities.

Now, why do we not take stuff off list?  Because it ends up in triangulation.  What is that?  It is, for example, I tell you something about Andy (and please, people, I'm just using hypothetical examples here, okay, just take it all this way.)
So, I tell Darian someting about Andy, because I want Darian on my side.  But it is a problem I really have with Andy and its something I should be discussing with and resolving with Andy.
Darian, because she is trying to be helpful, gets involved and, takes my side but also writes to Andy.  This upsets Andy who thought we were friends.  He now extends the triangle by contacting Marlene because he needs an ally here, too.  Marlene is really, really concerned because wow! not only is she worried about Andy, and possibly Darian because mean ole Jessie is after Andy and had the nerve to get Darian involved but it is really affecting ACB-HSP.  Sooo, she calls Donna.  Donna has a solution.  Bring it all on list.  See how this goes.  Peter has a great solution.  <LOL>
Those are really wide triangles--triangles can involve three, or more, people, but that's precisely how and where it starts and why it is best just to deal head on with these issues, resolve them completely, and then! move on.  

And, sometimes nonmembers have the better suggestions because its an unobjective person who really has no vested interest either way.  We can't "walk" because we've not "walked in" and if you're not "in" you cannot go "out".  

People, if this affiliate is going to survive, or grow, its going to take some concerted and real team work.  Teams have to play together.  They cannot, absolutely cannot, compete against each other as a team.  The players must play together, embrace each other as their team, and embrace each and every member as its team.  Competition within this team is only going to destroy this affiliate, and if that's what you want to do, just drop the membership.  If you really want to grow it, then unite as a team and be one.  
Darian is right: social workers / human service can be their own worst enimies, or their own greatest supporters.  Which are we going to choose to be?  It is really a mere question that each of us have to ask ourselves individually and together?

Jessie Rayl
thedogmom63 at frontier.com
www.facebook.com/Eaglewings10
www.pathtogrowth.org

  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Darian Slayton Fleming 
  To: Discussion list for ACB human service professionals 
  Sent: Tuesday, September 25, 2012 1:39 PM
  Subject: Re: [acb-hsp] ACB-HSP President Message

  Hello Andy and List:

  I had asked for this feedback to be sent off list, but since it isn’t, I believe the list wants things in the open despite the tone this thread may take.

  I appreciate your points, Andy.  And your points are well taken.  In a perfect world, and in the employment arena these are important ethics.

  In the human arena respect, punctuality, courtesy and other social skills are also very important.  These skills facilitate warmth, consideration and cooperative engagement.

  I ask, are there people on this list who have never forgotten an appointment?  Are there people on this list who have never made a mistake or made a decision that you wish you had done differently?  If so, please tell me how you manage to do so well.

  Social Work ethics urge respect for the Social Work for the profession, the colleagues and, above all, clients.  I agree these are critical social skills and preserve cooperative teamwork and organizational morale.

  And, I think that we, as professionals, would also urge empathy and cooperative problem solving in order to resolve internal issues and work toward greater organizational dynamics.  I have ehard it said that social workers, those who praport to be supportive, fair and empathetic are possibly more critical and judgmental of others.  It is good to hold each other to high ethical standards in order to preserve the integrity of our professions.

  I have not said, at any time, that my actions were justified.  I cannot take back what happened.  I can work on bettering myself.  Lessons like this, for me, anyway, are clear indicators of things I can work on improving.  I can and will take the heat if this is how the list wants to approach this problem.

  On another note, however, is it productive to continue to dwell on the negatives after we have been over them?  Do I need to keep apologizing?  I agree that it would have been good for me to alert you that I was not able to attend the meeting.  If only I had remembered to call you or email you and tell you I was going to forget to attend the meeting.  Is it possible we need to look at the structure of our affiliate, the expectations we have for each other and the organization, and pledge to see what we can do about moving on?

  If not, you are certainly welcome to call for my resignation and work toward rebuilding the organization.  Or you can set about disolving the ACB-HSP Affiliate.  I, for one, feel this would not be in the best interest of working to advocate for employmentk, access and training for Human 
  Service Professionals who are blind.

  So, please keep the feedback coming.  This organization has issues to resolve.

  Please, however, make an effort to be respectful in what we write.  This list is for all, and some of us may be less familiar with the internal workings of our affiliate.

  Sincerely,

  Darian

  From: Baracco, Andrew W 
  Sent: Tuesday, September 25, 2012 9:36 AM
  To: Discussion list for ACB human service professionals 
  Subject: Re: [acb-hsp] ACB-HSP President Message

  I really do not understand why it is such a big deal to be in an appointed place at an appointed time, or to let someone know when you can't make it.  This isn't something outside the box, it is simple common courtesy that you should have learned somewhere along the way.  It is showing others that you value their time and attention. Personally, I would not want an employee who is chronically late to work.  If a job applicant said that he or she might be on time some days, and not others, their application would disappear into the proverbial circular file. If a presenter told me that he or she would probably be late, he or she wouldn't be my presenter.  I realize that today it seems to bea all about me, and everyone else just has to deal, but that wouldn't be the case in any organization that I would run, or play a major part in. My boss is perennially  late to meetings, cancels at the last minute after everyone is there, etc. but he also pays me, so I have to give him that amount of slack.  But in a volunteer group, pay should be replaced by respect for others. People just shouldn't be expected to deal. They don't have to.  They can just walk, and you can't stop them.

  Andy

  From: acb-hsp-bounces at acb.org [mailto:acb-hsp-bounces at acb.org] On Behalf Of Darian Slayton Fleming
  Sent: Tuesday, September 25, 2012 9:24 AM
  To: Discussion list for ACB human service professionals
  Subject: Re: [acb-hsp] ACB-HSP President Message

  Well Jessie,you certainly tell it like it is.  I appreciate your candor.

  I appreciate your points and will welcome your participation on whatever level you are able.

  I understand that special interest affiliates struggle with these issues; ACB-HSP is not alone.  I trust that we will find a way to work together cooperatively.  Clearly this affiliate has issues to work on.

  Darian

  From: J.Rayl 

  Sent: Tuesday, September 25, 2012 7:26 AM

  To: Discussion list for ACB human service professionals 

  Subject: Re: [acb-hsp] ACB-HSP President Message

  Well Darrien,  I've been there, as President, attempting to attend work obligations and family obligations.  And I've missed my share of conference calls / meetings.  You, and others, may remember well your criticisms of me for the very same (no need to deny it, I've heard one in the same at times I signed on to the calls and you had no clue I was there and you all were happily bad-mouthing me for it).

  It is sad when this happens because realisticly, first, these positions are all volunteer and not one of us ever have to step up to the plate to take them; yet, because we care about the purposes of ACB and the affiliate, and the betterment, we do.

  Then, however, when work, family, medical or personal obligations, or Heaven forbid, the slipage of a memory, interferes, we are berated and looked down on as though some unforgivable, unforgettable crime has been committed.  Now granted, when one accepts an officer position, there does need to be a high level of commitment, and I absolutely realize that.  Yet, I'm not sure just how I was to explain that my volunteer position took presidence over my job (wen I'd get called out for our commitment procedures even though some of you just knew I was making that up because your states do not have 24/seven commitment), etc. etc.  But okay, its easier to judge when you're in the jury seat than not, I know, and that is why, or one reason, we now have these problems within our organization.

  I am sorry, though not surprised, that the three officers, resigned.  

  I will not step forward at this time to offer my assistance because I, honestly, do not know that I'll 1. Be in Columbus for the entire convention or any part of it although I'd like to be and hope to be; and 2. I do not know how much time my dissertation will leave me.

  However, what I will offer to you is presentations on conference calls--as I did before on just about any subject you so desire, leadership consultation, etc.  And there's a better than good probability I'll be late for the conference call (I'm late for everything).  

  It is, essentially, yours and ACB-HSP's choice as to wheter you accept my offer or not.  

  If I'm in Columbus, I'm happy to do a presentation then as well.

  And I will, eventually, get my dues in which means you have one more member paid--whatever that is worth to your affiliate.

  Stay well.

  Jessie Rayl
  thedogmom63 at frontier.com
  www.facebook.com/Eaglewings10
  www.pathtogrowth.org

    ----- Original Message ----- 

    From: Darian Slayton Fleming 

    To: Discussion list for ACB human service professionals 

    Sent: Monday, September 24, 2012 11:42 PM

    Subject: [acb-hsp] ACB-HSP President Message

    Dear ACB-HSP Members and Listers:

    I am writing to advise you that as president of ACB-HSP I committed a grievous error in not attending the August 5, 2012 conference call.  This was a very important meeting intended to discuss the direction of ACB-HSP.  Missing meetings, and low attendance on conference calls, among other things, have led to resignations of three officers from the ACB-HSP Board.  Andy Baracco resigned his position as Vice-President.  Marleen O’Neal has left the Secretary position.  Linda Porelle has resigned as Program Coordinator.

    I want to publicly apologize for my oversight.  I was on a family vacation and truly forgot to call in on August 5th.  I have also been studying to take my clinical social work licensure exam.  Admittedly, I have missed meetings on a few occasions.  At this point, it is not productive or appropriate for me to make excuses.  I cannot undo my mistakes.  However, I am committed to doing what I can to continue to try to build ACB-HSP.  I believe we have a valid and necessary purpose as a special interest affiliate of ACB.

    ACB-HSP faces some challenges involving finances and direction.  On the upside, we have had many successful programs at conference/convention.  Attendance at our main convention programs has increased over the past two years.  Members of our group have valuable and credible experience and qualifications.  This might be a good time to review and reevaluate our mission.

    According to ACB-HSP Bylaws, if a vacancy on the board occurs between conventions, the Board may appoint a member to fill the position until the next regular convention when an election may be held.  Treasurer, Deanna Austin and I are writing to ask members to write to us off list to offer input and/or volunteer to be appointed to the Board until July 2013 Conference/Convention.  Open positions are Vice-President, Secretary and Program Coordinator.  

    Write to me at:

    Darehart56 at hotmail.com

    Deanna Austin may be reached at:

    DeannaAustin2009 at comcast.net

    Respectfully,

    Darian Slayton Fleming

    ACB-HSP President

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