[acb-hsp] ice breakers and topics for facilitating someadjustmentto vision loss groups

Sat Feb 2 10:43:27 EST 2013

Hi.  I think the subject of group facilitation is totally relevant to this list, whether it is vision support, therapy, substance abuse, or any other.  Groups are not easy--either to facilitate or to join.  And it can be difficult to help people feel comfortable in them no matter how they are formed.  I am by nature not a group person so, even though I facilitate groups, I am still not overly comfortable doing it.  However, some things I've found to be helpful are asking people to introduce themselves--generally, at least, by first name.  If they feel comfortable, by more than that, but at least get that much.  This gives you, and everyone else, an idea who each person is.  You may think this is not necessary, especially because sighted people will know; however, you'll be interested to know that even after five or ten groups, many sighted people have no clue who people are --even after they've heard the name repeatedly.  The reality is, they remember names no better than do we--some of them.  So, it does help everyone.

After that, I ask people what is one thing they did over the last interim "week, two weeks, etc.
And as we wrap up, what is one thing they will do or think they will do.
It can be anything and we do not judge regardless of what they say--we simply encourage and support them, or help guide them / help them make better decisions if the response would be something that would be maladaptive (e.g., commit suicide, use drugs, fight with my sister).  If its something moving forward, we encourage, praise.  If its something humorous, we laugh.  Believe me, I've heard all kinds of responses.  And, I've checked a few for truthfullness / reality.  <smiles>.

I do play games as in: what kind of animal would you be?
What kind of boat would you have?
Your ideal dream home?
Your ideal season and why?
What kind of tree would you be and why?

ONce the group is somewhat better formed--what is your most challenging / embarrassing moment, or at least, a challenging / embarrassing moment?
Rewarding moment?  

One thing I learned (and learned this the hard way is) put a time limit on the complaint phase.  In other words, what often happens is, groups of people want, and need, to vent about frustration and loss issues.  That's important.  However, this can lead to, my problem is worse than yours, or one person can monopolize the entire group.  So, you--facilitator--must become very adept at putting limits on this.  You've got to give everyone an equal opportunity to share their stories without allowing the "I can top your story" saga, and the "I'm going to monopolize".  To do this, you figure out how much time does the group have, how many people are in that group, then give so much time for this discussion.  You simply say: okay, we've got 15 people here who need to share their stores, and we've got an hour in which this can happen.  Therefore, each person must do this in three minutes so that we have time for other things.  And stick with it--period, even if you cut Minnie monopolizer off.  That may feel mean or horrible and she may erupt with anger, leaving or whatever else; however the other 14 people will likely thank you profusely.  And, you can find other ways to support Minnie monopolizer if you feel compelled.

Then, I always end the group with the what can we do about? or where can we go from here query?  That way, it doesn't end on this terrible, no-win feeling of gloom and despair.  It may well be that the decision is, well it ain't gonna change but we're all in this boat together and that's okay ...see ya next week brother.  If so, you've got a good group going.
Or, maybe we can start writing letters to get the bus services changed, or the walk fixed, or something.  <smiles>

What I can tell you is, if all they do is come there and whine and complain over and over, you'll quickly lose the group ...because while that may seem appealing initially, no one really wants it ...except a very few drama seekers--and they are few and quickly exhaust everyone else.

You might want to read up on group development by Yallom.  He writes a lot of stuff about open and closed groups.

Jessie Rayl
thedogmom63 at frontier.com
www.facebook.com/Eaglewings10
www.pathtogrowth.org

  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: John Kolwick 
  To: Discussion list for ACB human service professionals 
  Sent: Saturday, February 02, 2013 9:19 AM
  Subject: Re: [acb-hsp] ice breakers and topics for facilitating someadjustmentto vision loss groups

       Hello, ice breaker "ask people what type of animal they would like to be and why."
  are these folks adults, teens, or children;
  did they volunteer to attend this group;
  were they referred by someone or required to attend;

  question:  ask them what they want out of the group and specific topics, sometimes in this situation people may be hesitant to talk but if some can speak out, it will encourage others;

  From: Lisa Gorden-Cushman 
  Sent: Saturday, February 02, 2013 12:06 AM
  To: acb-hsp at acb.org 
  Subject: [acb-hsp] ice breakers and topics for facilitating some adjustmentto vision loss groups

  Hello everyone,

  I am going to be co-facilitating some adjustment to blindness groups at my job.  Can anyone think of some good topics?  I have some ideas, but I am just starting out in the field, and there are some really wise people on this list.  In addition, does anyone have any ideas for ice breakers?  If you could respond to me off list, so that people who are not interested in this topic do not get spammed, I would greatly appreciate it.

  Thanks,

  Lisa

  "Love is my strength" Palen Majere

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