[acb-hsp] Five Top Regrets at End of Life

[Baracco, Andrew W]

I can identify with all 5.

Andy


-----Original Message-----
From: acb-hsp-bounces at acb.org [mailto:acb-hsp-bounces at acb.org] On Behalf
Of peter altschul
Sent: Monday, February 18, 2013 8:59 AM
To: Acbhsp
Subject: [acb-hsp] Five Top Regrets at End of Life

5 Top Regrets People Have At the End of Their Lives
  Susie Steiner February 15,
  There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps.  A palliative nurse
who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most
common regrets we have at the end of our lives.  
And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so
hard'.
  Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in
palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their
lives.  She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration
and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations
into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
  Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at
the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom.  "When
questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do
differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again." Here
are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:
  *1.  I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the
life others expected of meddinin
  "This was the most common regret of all.  When people realise that
their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see
how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.  Most people had not honoured
even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to
choices they had made, or not made.  
Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
  *2.  I wish I hadn't worked so hardddinin
  "This came from every male patient that I nursed.  They missed their
children's youth and their partner's companionship.  Women also spoke of
this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the
female patients had not been breadwinners.  All of the men I nursed
deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a
work existence."
  *3.  I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelingsddinin
  "Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with
others.  As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never
became who they were truly capable of becoming.  Many developed
illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a
result."
  *4.  I wish I had stayed in touch with my friendsddinin
  "Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends
until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them
down.  Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let
golden friendships slip by over the years.  
There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and
effort that they deserved.  Everyone misses their friends when they are
dying."
  *5.  I wish that I had let myself be happierddinin
  "This is a surprisingly common one.  Many did not realise until the
end that happiness is a choice.  They had stayed stuck in old patterns
and habits.  The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into
their emotions, as well as their physical lives.  
Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that
they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and
have silliness in their life again."
_______________________________________________
acb-hsp mailing list
acb-hsp at acb.org
http://www.acb.org/mailman/listinfo/acb-hsp