[acb-hsp] How the Pros Procrastinate

[peter altschul]

How the Pros Procrastinate
  Bob Goldman
  I really should have finished this column three days ago.  I 
would have done it, too, but since I am writing about 
procrastination -- a subject I know nothing about -- I wanted to 
experience the anxiety, fear and self-loathing that apparently 
plague procrastinators.
  Funnily enough, I was neither anxious nor fearful nor full of 
loathing -- no more than usual, anyway.  In fact, putting aside 
an important project to frolic among the flowers that bloom in 
the springtime was quite delightful.  I tell you, the ant may get 
a lot accomplished, but it's a lot more fun being the 
grasshopper.
  I was inspired to procrastinate by a Jude Bijou article in 
Brazencareeristddcom.  Ms.  Bijou, with a resume that includes 
psychotherapist, professional essayist, workshop leader and 
award-winning author, is clearly no procrastinator, and she is 
generous of nature, which I'm sure was the reason she wrote "7 
Ways to Stop Procrastinating at Work and Get More Done."
  Technique No.  1 is "name the challenge and the goal." 
According to author Bijou, "writing down the specific task you've 
been putting off helps you get focused." This is true.  Tomorrow, 
when you come into work, and before you find yourself frozen in 
inactivity, write down, "I am going to turn on my computer before 
lunch, instead of sitting here all morning pretending to work." 
(What will keep you from procrastinating over writing this note, 
I'm not exactly sure.  You'll probably have to write yourself a 
note to write yourself a note, and then write yourself another 
note to write the note that will remind you to write the note.  
But don't get discouraged.  With all that scribbling, it will 
definitely look like you're working.)
  "Pinpoint your emotions" is Technique No.  2.  Beyond all your 
excuses for not starting your work are three basic emotions: 
fear, anger and sadness.  If you want to jump over these 
roadblocks, you'll have to release "pent-up emotions and energy." 
This brings us to Technique No.  3, in which Ms.  Bijou suggests 
that if you're sad, you "go watch a sentimental movie and cry." 
This is an excellent strategy, but just in case your manager 
proves unenthusiastic about your decision to spend the morning 
watching weepy melodramas on Netflix, don't give up.  You can 
achieve the same level of misery by simply looking at your 
paycheck.
  "Counter defeating chatter with truths" is Technique No.  4.  
Your goal here is to "find a positive statement that is simple 
and true," and then "say these truths over and over until they 
are louder than your negative internal chatter." Of course, you 
have to be careful of the level of truth that you employ.  "I am 
an extremely capable, productive and intelligent human being," is 
one truth statement that you might try, but if your boss doesn't 
believe it, how can you?
  I suggest you start out with a truth statement that will 
realistically embrace your best qualities, like "I can crush a 
beer can with one hand," or "I have a Level 85 dwarven paladin in 
the Borean Tundra of Worlds of Warcraft." Wow! That last one 
would even impress me.
  Whatever the task, Technique No.  5 is to "break it into small, 
doable steps." This will work, but you must "write it down, 
schedule it and commit to it." My advice is to start your list of 
tasks as early in the process as possible.
  Say, the task you are avoiding is a presentation for the 2 p.m.  
staff meeting on Thursday.  You should make your first step, "I 
will wake up on Thursday morning and get out of bed." Follow that 
step with "I will do two sit ups, and stretch my thumbs," and 
"Immediately after my work-out, I will take a nap." Keep up this 
detailed analysis of the day, and you'll be busy so busy writing 
down steps, you'll completely miss the 2 p.m.  meeting.  But 
that's OK.  There will be another meeting next Thursday, and you 
can start fighting your urge to procrastinate right now with a 
bold first step, "I will leave early and never come back to work 
again." There you have it -- procrastination problem solved!
  Techniques No.  6 and No.  7 provide guidance on how to 
"anticipate roadblocks" and "battle resistance." The key here is 
to "remind yourself that you can do this, and you'll feel better 
once it's handled." If you don't believe yourself, remember that 
simply by reading this column, and learning the seven techniques 
you'll never use, you've taken a great first step towards your 
ultimate goal -- unemployment.