[fcb-l] UPS Humor!
kvharmon54 at gmail.com
Thu Jan 28 20:58:02 GMT 2010
I know this is not anything to do with Blind advocacy, but I just had to
pass along to all so that all of you could enjoy a smile like I did reading
these! Your friend in the cause, Kirk
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our
jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe
sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics corrects the problems, document their repairs on the form, and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor . Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a
P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers .
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P:Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel . Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
1031 Lenmore CT.
Orlando, FL. 32812
Home office: (407) 380-3371
Cell: (407) 473-2176
E-mail address: kvharmon54 at gmail.com
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" Smiles are nothing more than thirty second vacations!"
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