by Deborah Armstrong (KF6BKR)
Three decades ago, when I was a whole lot younger, I felt lonely. I was living alone in a house I owned, but my previous housemate had left due to changing life circumstances.
I realized what I needed was a boyfriend.
I went about the task methodically, making a list of the types of men I liked. I decided he needed to be interested in technology, be kind and not bossy.
The perfect boyfriend, therefore, would be a ham radio operator. They do loads of community service, they love technology, and they are nice people, often former Boy Scouts.
So I got my ham license in order to find a boyfriend.
But I quickly became enamored with ham radio. I enjoyed every aspect of this accessible hobby, from learning Morse code to running programs on my computer, talking on the radio to tweaking my antenna. I joined local amateur radio clubs and hung out with lots of guys, and found the hobby so distracting I no longer felt lonely.
Then at my job we hired Bob, a new engineer. Bob and I worked on many projects together, designing a product and ironing out support problems. We’d often go to lunch to discuss a new development or to work together on a solution to some flaw in the new product.
Soon our long lunches turned to dinner, and because he was sighted, he often drove me home to further discuss our project. Then one night we went to a company picnic together, and it was late, so of course he drove me home. And then it was too late for him to drive back home. So he stayed at my house. Then we had another marathon meeting that ran late, and I ended up staying the night at his house!
And suddenly we realized neither of us needed a partner. We’d found each other.
But the story doesn’t end there. Bob and I dated by going to ham radio flea markets. It was cheap, it was fun, but he wasn’t a ham. People always assumed because I was blind and female that he was the amateur radio operator.
Finally, Bob got a big sign made for him that read: “She’s the Ham.” So when I looked at some ham radio gear, the seller was forced to discuss its attributes with me. Bob has degrees in computer science and electrical engineering, but though I have no degree at all, he never treats me like I am less intelligent. That’s why we got married.
And even after we were spouses, he still had to wear the “She’s the Ham” sign because blind females are not expected to be fired up about technology, I guess.
Today, Bob does have his license and was heavily involved in designing an online ham radio testing application that runs on the web and is fully accessible. But it took years to convince him to get that license because he always enjoyed how much fun it was to get those vendors to talk to me instead of him.