by Sharon Strzalkowski
On a fateful Saturday in November the vote was cast, and my church would soon be closed as a result of a merger with another parish. Even though I was on the leadership team and knew that this could happen, the grief, anger and fear were immediate for me, as for many others. Financial considerations and lower attendance precipitated this move to shore up the merged parish, and my rational self understood this.
Then came the hard choices, which are still reverberating today. In an odd way I knew that I already belonged to the soon-to-be merged parish, because I knew many of the people, and knew that I would be welcomed there. But getting the inclusion stuff to work would be another matter. Could I get rides to their more distant location from my home? Could I navigate this old building with odd groupings of steps? Could I sing in the choir there, given a very steep choir loft?
My other choice would be to go to a new parish a little closer to my home where I am not known, but where the physical plant is easier and where the community is well established, with good routines and administrative support.
I have not yet decided what I will do. Inclusion and belonging are fragile and gradual things, I am learning. Inclusion takes advocacy on my part and being willing to have things not go perfectly. Belonging is more of an emotional acceptance on my part and that of my fellow parishioners. Going into a somewhat different culture is challenging.
I feel sure that whichever community I choose will eventually be where I want to be, and I am trying to be patient with myself as I go through the grief of losing my parish of 30 years and embarking on a new adventure.
I think about new members coming into our ACB state affiliates and chapters, and urge all of us to be patient with them as they go through different emotions, with perhaps some fits and starts as to their attendance and dedication. We can help them by just letting them participate in whatever way feels right, and then eventually inviting them to help with this committee or another. I wish all the best to those who are recent members of ACB and who are feeling their way to belonging.